As Christians, forgiving others may be the toughest thing Jesus has asked us to do. The author challenges us to start small and gradually learn to turn those who have hurt us over to God. 

Some years back, I was on social media commenting on the cruelty of destroying lives and families at the border for the “crime” of not being able to speak English and do paperwork. It is an unpopular thing to say in some Christian circles, and my post sparked the following conversation with a brother Christian who thought refugees were getting exactly what was coming to them: 

Reader: There’s a special place in hell for you. 

Me: Forgive me for offending you. 

Reader: Ask Jesus for forgiveness. You’ll get nothing from me. 

It’s a novel form of Christianity that uses Jesus as a human shield for refusing to forgive people. Some, of a more progressive bent, respond to those like my reader with revulsion and, in turn, find it easy to want to cast such people out of all decent society and withhold forgiveness from them. 

Both reactions illustrate something that I have come to deeply believe: Our culture has it all wrong in focusing on the pelvic issues as the big bugaboo of Catholic moral teaching. 

I mean, I get it. Sex sells and it makes for exciting controversy. So it’s easy to buy the idea that the great barrier to Christian moral teaching is all the stuff about contraception, divorce, abortion, and LGBTQ issues. But in my experience if you really want to tap into deep subterranean magma wells of rage, remind people that Jesus commands us to forgive everyone who sins against us.  

Everyone? Really? 

Yes. Everyone. “When you stand to pray, forgive anyone against whom you have a grievance, so that your heavenly Father may in turn forgive you your transgressions” (Mk 11:25). 

Note the completely unconditional nature of that demand. Not “anyone who apologizes” or “anyone who repents” or “anyone who has hurt you personally but not that jerk who hurt your best friend” or “anyone within reasonable limits but not those people who are obviously beyond the pale.” Anyone. Period. 

This insistence on forgiveness likewise underscores Jesus’ teaching on the Our Father in the Sermon on the Mount. On a prayer that has literally had libraries of books written about it, analyzing every detail, Jesus has only this commentary to offer: “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions” (Mt 6:14–15). 

Yikes! That’s pretty forceful. Why would Jesus say something so hardcore? Because, as Flannery O’Connor observed, “When people are deaf, you shout.” Forgiveness is hard—crucifixion hard (as in the innocent Jesus hanging on the cross praying “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”)—and so we don’t want to face our need to do it. That’s why I think the forgiveness of sin is the single most difficult teaching of Jesus. 

To be sure, we love it for ourselves. But the grace with which it is given us by God can make it easy to forget just how costly that grace was for God. As C.S. Lewis observes, it cost God, so far as we know, nothing to create the world. But to forgive sins cost him crucifixion. And we get some inkling of that cost when we turn from the forgiveness of our sins to his demand that we forgive that monster over there who has never apologized for what he did to us, who laughs it off and calls us an over-sensitive snowflake, who never will apologize, and who continues to hurt us in this very hour. 

Why It’s So Hard to Forgive 

Yes. Forgiveness is, without any possible comparison, the most difficult thing Jesus calls us to do. I think this has a great deal to do with our supposing that forgiveness means pretending those we are called to forgive are not impenitent jerks, or that they didn’t hurt us, or that we have to go on letting them hurt us, or that we somehow had it coming, or that forgiving means letting them win or get away with it, or that the struggle we endure in striving to forgive makes God so mad at us that he sides with our abuser—as though we are the problem for being hurt. 

But forgiveness doesn’t mean any of these things. Indeed, forgiveness necessarily presupposes that the person we forgive really has sinned against us. In short, the forgiveness of sin is not the same thing at all as excusing somebody. When the bus lurches and somebody accidently steps on our toes, they obviously could not help it. The laws of physics made it happen, not their willful malice or sinful neglect. So we excuse them. It’s when somebody deliberately stomps on our toes, or neglectfully fails to protect our toes from the bowling ball they carelessly left to roll off their seat and on to our foot, that forgiveness comes in. 

Consider an illustration from the world of law. In law, a pardon does not mean declaring somebody innocent. On the contrary, a pardon means they are guilty of the crime—and that they are forgiven for committing it. 

Forgiveness, likewise, does not mean God is saying to the victim, “You are the bad one for seeing that your abuser is abusive.” It means, rather, that God knows your abuser is abusive and that he is Emmanuel: God with you in your suffering. That is who Christ crucified is for us. He suffers what we endure with us and we with him. That means we can center our whole worth in the unconditional love of God as he stands between us and the diabolical act of gaslighting by the abuser. It means we can, by the power of the Holy Spirit, refuse and reject the lies of our abuser about what a loser we are, how we had it coming, why we are the real villain, etc—and hand that person and those lies over to God. It means finding our identity in the love Christ has for us in creating us, in sharing in the abuse we suffered on his cross and, in rising from the dead, giving us the grace to see that those lies need not define us and that pain need not chain us anymore. 

Breaking the Chains 

In short, forgiveness is about our liberation, not about knuckling under to our abuser’s oppression. It’s not about letting them get away with it. It’s about walking away in freedom from their power over us. 

Forgiveness has to do with handing our abuser over to God, desiring their ultimate good, and then walking away from their abusive control. It does not mean refusing to call the cops when they have committed a crime, or not calling the liar out when he lies, or not fighting back if he tries to hurt us again, or not telling anybody else what our abuser did. Indeed, it may well be that the sin they have committed is also a crime that needs to be punished. If so, it is not unforgiveness to, for instance, testify in court against them, particularly if they remain a danger to others. That is love for others and even for the sinner. 

But the key is to hand them over to God and seek his mercy for them, not because they are not sinners, but because they are. It is to release the sinner into the hands of God. To not carry them anymore. To be free of them. To no longer let them control our lives. To grow past them and let the love of Christ control our responses, not their dominating, wounding will. And that process, precisely because it is about our liberation and rooted in the love of God, does not at all depend on whether our abuser says they are sorry. If it did, we would be chained in bitterness to the memory of every impenitent or dead person who ever sinned against us. But God is not chained. He breaks chains. 

Starting Small 

The good news is that God knows our weakness and starts small with us. Most of the sins we endure are small ones in ordinary life, and we can start practicing the forgiveness of sins there rather than instantly demanding seven Herculean feats of ourselves. The guy who missed the lunch date. The fender bender. The irritating chatterbox at work. The toilet seat left up. The dirty dishes left on the counter. 

This principle of practicing forgiveness in small things so as to train like an athlete to forgive big things is something Jesus is getting at in his parables when he says, “The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones; and the person who is dishonest in very small matters is also dishonest in great ones. If, therefore, you are not trustworthy with dishonest wealth, who will trust you with true wealth?” (Lk 16:10–11). 

Note, for instance, how often Jesus relates the forgiveness of sins to the forgiveness of debt, and how often our culture battles to forget that relationship. Some translations of the Lord’s Prayer say, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” Jesus again and again illustrates the demand to forgive in economic terms, as when he defends the sinful woman he forgave by asking who will love more: the one who has been forgiven a small debt or a huge one? (cf. Lk 7:36–50). He tells the parable of the unmerciful servant who is forgiven a gigantic debt, yet who refuses to forgive a trivial one (Mt 18:21–35). We are, of course, quite right to spiritualize all this language to apply to moral, emotional, and spiritual debts we owe and are owed us. 

But here’s the thing: We are not to pretend this does not apply to economic debts as well. For instance, when the bishops call for student loan debt relief in order to ease the staggering burden of school debt on graduates who are trying to start families and buy homes, do we respond like the unmerciful servant and demand “Pay me what you owe me!” while refusing to forgive the relatively trivial tax burden it will cost us so that our children can prosper? Or do we respond generously like the king who forgave the unmerciful servant a gigantic debt? 

In short, forgiveness of economic debt is, in a minor key, the same as forgiveness for the debt of sin. And Jesus warns us that if we are cheapskates with forgiveness in small things like money, we are not going to suddenly be spiritual giants of mercy in big things for the same reason that couch potatoes do not suddenly jump up and run the Boston Marathon. We have to train ourselves to be merciful just as we have to train for distance running. 

Accepting God’s Forgiveness 

Another aspect of the forgiveness of sins is that, while it is freely given us by God, it does us no good if we do not open ourselves to the love who is God who gives it to us. That is the real reason that Jesus warns that if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. When God tries to hand you a gift, even he cannot give it to you if you refuse to unclench your fist. If you refuse to forgive the sins of others, one of the paradoxes of the spiritual life is that it is highly likely you will refuse to forgive yourself for similar or related sins. And if you refuse forgiveness, God does not force you to accept it, and you live in that unforgiveness till you open yourself to his love. But that openness has to include your neighbor, whether you have sinned against him or he against you. 

This is why sayings like “When people bring up your past tell them that Jesus has dropped the charges” can be a double-edged sword. It is a very good thing to have the strength of grace to withstand the accusations of the enemy about sins for which God has forgiven you.

But it is also vital to ask ourselves, “What if the victims of my forgiven sins still do live in the past because of trauma I inflicted on them?” Forgiveness of our sins is a glorious thing, and we should praise God for it. But what goes with it is the grace to, as far as it lies in our power, make things right for those we hurt. To walk away from those we hurt saying, “My sins are forgiven. I don’t live in the past. Too bad for you!” is not repentance, contrition, or a firm purpose of amendment, but simply feckless narcissism. It’s a way of telling your victim that God is on the side of their abusers and it is, in the final analysis, a form of taking the name of God in vain. 

One final point: It is easy to forget that the instructions in the New Testament about forgiving sins are generally for Christians dealing with other Christians in their own communities, not for shiny, happy, perfect, sinless Christians suffering only at the hands of evil unbelievers. Dorothy Day warned that the Church is the cross upon which Jesus is crucified. Yes, there are real saints who are living sacraments in the Church, and we ignore them and focus only on the bad at great peril to our souls. But those who are deeply and intensely wounded by their fellow Christians need also to be heard and not shouted down. It is a pattern going all the way back to the apostles that the worst pain somebody attempting obedience to God faces is not from those outside the communion of Christ but from those within it who hate, abuse, betray, abandon, neglect, and backbite. 

This is why Jesus commands the Church’s members to practice radical forgiveness of one another. I stink at all this, of course. It is a struggle every day for me. But Jesus says it is nonetheless the Way. It is hard, hard work to get there. But it can be done if we choose to receive the grace to do it. And the fruit it bears is freedom.

Contrary to traditional adult-child relationships, this mom presents a gentle parenting method rooted in child liberation theology, which calls for respecting and empowering children. 

It had been one of those days. Nothing was going right. The house was a mess, I had a headache, the day had been long, and my husband, Zach, was having to work overtime that evening. Bedtime was up to me, and I was at the end of my rope. 

I was rocking Savannah, my 1-year-old, while Sophia, my 3-year-old, was supposed to be slipping on pajamas but got distracted playing with her dolls. Pajamas still in a wad on the floor beside her, I felt the anger, frustration, and exhaustion that had been simmering in me all day finally bubble to the surface. I harshly reminded my toddler to get into bed. 

I instantly felt guilt, but the rage didn’t dissipate until Sophia looked at me, and with nothing but compassion in her sweet, blue eyes said, “Mommy, you are using an unkind voice. Is something wrong? Here, let’s take deep breaths together.” And with her little toddler hands—not even half as big as my own—she grasped my hand and started to breathe deeply. 

How had my 3-year-old not only remained calm in the midst of my chaos, but also recognized that I was struggling and needed to regulate my own body and emotions? Whenever she was experiencing big feelings, she wasn’t punished or shamed for it. Zach or I would instead help her regulate her emotions through hugs, deep breaths, sitting with her through it, and eventually talking it out. We tried our best to approach tantrums and outbursts with curiosity and compassion, and now that I was, in a sense, having my own tantrum, Soph reacted in the same way. 

This particular incident was a turning point for me where I realized that gentle parenting was more than another strategy of behavior modification. It was a way of being with children that respected them as a whole person in such a way that they would naturally learn respect and empathy for others. 

When the norm in a household is kindness, respect, grace, gentleness, and compassion, children are equipped to be confident in their own worth and the worth of others, even if a member of the family temporarily steps outside of the household norms. My daughter wasn’t afraid of my outburst, nor was she afraid to let me know that I was speaking “unkindly” to her. She knew she deserved respect while also respecting me in the midst of my own big emotions. 

But there is even more to it than that. We shouldn’t just teach children respect because it models empathy and kindness. We shouldn’t just respect children because their brains are still developing. Ultimately, it all boils down to this: We should respect kids because it is their right to be respected. 

A Different Message 

Yet, almost every time I picked up a book on Christian parenting, a very different instruction was given. In some way or another, most of these Christian parenting books communicated a similar message: 

• Your children are corrupt and sinful from the moment of birth. 

• You must teach your children instant obedience to your every command. 

• Children must be punished, often through pain, in order to learn right from wrong. 

• God commands children to respect the authority of their parents, and parental authority gives parents the right to rule over their children. 

These messages deeply disturbed me, even when I was only beginning to learn the ropes of parenthood. It seemed to me that the messages being communicated to Christian parents were those of power and control, not ones that revolved around the fruits of the spirit. 

I’ll never forget the first time I read the widely popular Christian parenting book To Train Up a Child, by Debbie and Michael Pearl, originally published in 1994. As I turned each page, I felt more and more astonished at what the authors touted as genuine Christian parenting. In one memorable chapter, the authors state: “Prove [to the child] that you are bigger, tougher, and more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final.” It was at this point that I put the book down to process what I had just read as the words of Christ echoed in my head over and over: “Whatever you do for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you do for me.” 

Could I imagine “defeating” Christ? Would being “unmoved” by the wailing and crying of Christ be right? Would I “rule over” Christ “as a benevolent sovereign”? If I could not fathom treating Christ in this way, how could I rightly act this way toward my children? Are children not also included as the brothers and sisters of Christ? 

As I read those words, it became incredibly clear to me: Much of what has been popularized as proper Christian parenting doesn’t actually have a lot to do with Christ, but rather, it has a lot to do with power. This worship of power by the parents is antithetical to the message of Christ—of a God who willingly forsook power and glory for the sake of all humanity. I knew in my heart that there must be another way. My Christian parents did not raise me this way. I did not want to raise my children this way. Christian parenthood did not have to look like this. In fact, I deeply believed that honoring Christ meant running far from this punitive model of parenthood. That is when I discovered the concept of child liberation. 

Child Liberation Theology 

When I first stumbled upon the term child liberation theology, I was immediately intrigued. I had heard of the liberation theology of Peruvian theologian Gustavo Gutiérrez in which he emphasized the Christian duty to the poor and suffering, and Christ as the redemptive figure of the marginalized. I had also heard of various other liberation theologies, including Black liberation theology, womanist liberation theology, Indigenous liberation theology, LGBTQ+ liberation theology, and more. But I had never once heard of or even considered a theology of liberation for children. 

When I first picked up the book Suffer the Children: A Theology of Liberation by a Victim of Child Abuse by Janet Pais, I could not put it down. My eyes scanned each page as my body was filled with a feeling of excitement and purpose. Finally, while not a parenting book by any means, here was a book that addressed the topic of parenting and children from a Christian perspective that advocated for the dignity and rights of the child and advocated against domineering parental control. Through her theology of liberation for children, Pais affirmed the dignity of children as made in the image of God and challenged the norms of how children are treated by adults. 

As I learned more about this, I wondered, “How does this line up with Franciscan theology?” At the time, my evenings after my children went to bed were spent studying, reading, writing, and completing assignments for my master’s degree in Franciscan theology. My day-to-day life was often filtered through a Franciscan lens as I studied and applied what I was learning to what I was experiencing. This was no different. I became engrossed in the topic of child liberation, and the more I considered it, the more I realized that it aligned with the Franciscan vision of the call to, as Francis proclaimed, “follow in the footsteps of Christ” in all that we do. 

There are several fundamental beliefs held within child liberation theology: 

1) Children are born good, not tainted with evil or original sin. 

This fits with the positive view of humanity held in Franciscan theology—that God intended for every human being to exist, that existence is only born out of divine desire and the outpouring of God’s overflowing love, and that sin does not change the fundamental goodness of humanity. Yes, human beings sin (children included!), but sin does not change who we are at our core: good creations made by a good creator. How could assuming the goodness of children affect our interpretation of their behavior? 

2) Children deserve dignity and respect and should be empowered instead of oppressed. 

This goes right along with the Franciscan commitment to uplifting the poor, marginalized, and oppressed. Sts. Francis and Clare were committed to this. If children are being oppressed, then addressing and challenging this oppression is deeply Franciscan. How could a deep, Franciscan commitment to challenging oppression move us to examine how our actions may perpetuate oppression in our own homes, schools, and elsewhere in our society? 

3) Adults must critically examine how adult power is misused in order to control children in unnecessary ways. 

St. Francis, like Jesus, modeled a voluntary giving up of power for the sake of the other because Francis believed that all people are called to follow in the footsteps of Christ. It is this voluntary giving up of power and control that must be committed to for the sake of child liberation. We must replace a “power-over” mindset with a “responsibility-toward” mindset. What would it look like to counterculturally lay down our own power for the sake of our children like Francis did for the sake of the most vulnerable in his life? 

Honor Children, Honor God 

Ultimately, child liberation theology includes the radical idea that the misuse of power by adults over children not only dishonors children who are all made in the image of God, but also dishonors God. Just as Sts. Francis and Clare believed that we honor God by honoring those around us, the same is true of the way we treat children. To honor God, we must honor children, and to truly honor children, we must examine the ways that we may, knowingly or unknowingly, cause them harm and treat them as less than. 

Each time a parent chooses to respond to children in a respectful way—getting on their level, seeing the world through their eyes, being mindful of their developmental capabilities, and showing them grace and love—they are leaning into the reality of the Gospel. When a parent stands against the cultural norms that say a child must suffer in order to learn and instead chooses to teach the child in a way that honors their humanity and stage of development, that parent is modeling the countercultural nature of both Jesus and Francis, who likewise affirmed the dignity of the most vulnerable. 

To parent according to the truth of the Gospel is to parent in a way that respects the dignity of the child and to recognize that the child is just as worthy of respect, grace, and love as any adult. The Gospel invites us to reconsider our views on punishment, status, and power, and likewise invites us to live into the reality of the love through which we were created. If we are to parent in light of the Gospel, we must rethink the traditional adult-child relationship and work to cultivate relationships with the children who have been entrusted to us based on mutual respect and truly unconditional love. 

Parenting That Is Christlike 

In the widely circulated Gospel Coalition article “Is Gentle Parenting Biblical?”, the claim is made that gentle parenting, while having some good qualities, ultimately is not biblically based. The author states, “If we want to produce gentle children, we’ll need more than gentle methods—we’ll need biblical ones.” 

To parent with the fruits of the spirit with unconditional love, patience, gentleness, and self-control is to parent biblically. To lay down our power, to refuse to use harsh punishments for every mistake, to refuse to exert our strength to cause physical pain to the child, to refuse to shame and isolate, and to refuse to treat the child as a piece of clay that can be molded however we desire is to model our parenting after the humility and vulnerability of Christ. So yes, I do believe that gentle parenting is not just biblical, but Christlike. 

Every time I think back on the story of my daughter, I am reminded that gentleness can indeed foster gentleness. Sophia showed me that day that children will emulate what is modeled. She displayed the fruits of the spirit far better than I did on that night, which is not something that can be ordered or forced in any genuine way. She was gentle, patient, and loving in her response to my outburst. She gave me the opportunity to practice humility and repair, and she gave me the gift of forgiveness. There was grace amid hurt, growth amid mistakes, and patience amid tension. 

In a faith that prizes forgiveness, grace, and vulnerability, I must ask: What could be more Christian than that?

Another mass shooting, another spate of thoughts and prayers. A group of sisters and their supporters are working to reignite a sense of urgency in the face of America’s gun violence epidemic. 

The prayer service began with a litany of the names of the fallen: 

• Damarion Bailey, 15, Homestead, Florida, allegedly shot by his 18-year-old friend for reasons that remain unclear 

• Isaac Rodriguez, 15, Milwaukee, allegedly murdered by shooters who rode by via scooter, killing Isaac and a friend who were walking down a city street 

• Justin Robinson, 16, Madison, Tennessee, shot during a dispute between two groups of youths at a community center 

• and, among 11 in all, infant Andre Lanns III of Deerfield Beach, Florida, a victim of an attempted murder-suicide. 

Cobbled together from local news reports, the listing of those young people murdered by gun violence represented the casualties of just another early summer week in America. 

But this virtual prayer service featured more than appeals to God to stop the violence. Those praying on a Zoom call were members of Nuns Against Gun Violence (NunsAgainstGunViolence.org). These religious sisters and their friends believe fervently in the power of prayer, but with a caveat that action is needed. The litany served not only as an appeal to the divine but also as a jolting reminder that gun violence is too much a part of American life. For Nuns Against Gun Violence, thoughts and prayers are a beginning, not an end. 

From Apathy to Action 

The group was formed in 2023 to overcome apathy surrounding gun violence. Members want to galvanize action against guns, particularly in the Catholic community, promoting an urgency about an issue that for too many Americans has become the norm. 

While some mass shootings still generate media attention, the steady drumbeat of individual killings largely goes unnoticed. Many involve young people whose lives, such as those in the litany, never had a chance to get started. 

The Gun Violence Archive, a nonprofit that tracks incidents of gun violence in the United States, reported 43,069 gun-related deaths in 2023, compared to 47,452 the previous year. The numbers show a decline, but the sisters believe that progress has not been swift enough. 

Mass shootings increased from 644 in 2022 to 656 in 2023. In 2024, mass shootings—defined as incidents where four or more people are killed or wounded—continued to number more than one every day. 

A Trusted Voice 

There is no lack of groups opposed to the epidemic of guns in a country where there are now more firearms than people. But Ursuline Sister Sheila Marie Tobbe of Cleveland says Nuns Against Gun Violence provides a unique perspective. 

“Sisters taught us our faith. We trust you,” relays Sister Sheila Marie about the laypeople she hears from, nearly 30,000 via social media and personal contact among alums of the schools sponsored by her community as well as others attracted by the congregation’s advocacy for social justice. Via prayer, letter-writing campaigns to public officials calling for more gun control, and massive billboards—including those in Cleveland and other cities in Ohio—Nuns Against Gun Violence embraces anyone who wants to get involved, whether vowed religious or not. 

“We are getting the message out in every way we can,” says Sister Sheila Marie. 

Sister Sheila Marie knows the impact of gun violence firsthand. Reflecting on her ministry in El Salvador and urban Cleveland, she can count more than two dozen incidents of people who have died from shootings, most of them youths. They include a top-flight graduate from a Cleveland parochial school, just barely a teenager, murdered in a car, apparently by a drug dealer; Cleveland police officer Derek Wayne Owens, shot in 2008 while pursuing a suspect; and a young man in El Salvador murdered on the streets after returning from that country’s long civil war, an apparent act of vengeance carried out by a warring party unable to accept a truce. 

She has seen up close young men in Cleveland and El Salvador brandishing weapons in shows of bravado. Those displays rarely end well and need to stop, she says. “Anyone who cares about human beings needs to fight this issue and get guns under control,” she says. 

A Challenge to Catholics 

The group’s message is backed by the Church hierarchy. The litany of mass shootings known by shorthand of Parkland (Florida), Sandy Hook (Connecticut) and Las Vegas (Nevada) generated swift calls for gun control from local bishops. And the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has noted that the right to bear arms should not be an unqualified license for anyone to own guns. 

Pope Francis has been direct. In his response to the 2022 killings of 19 schoolchildren and two teachers in Uvalde, Texas, he pleaded, “Enough to the indiscriminate trafficking of guns.” In response to that same tragedy, Cardinal Blase Cupich of Chicago, urging gun control, wrote on Twitter that the constitutional right to bear arms did not come from God on Mount Sinai and should be open to change. 

In a letter to Congress a week after the Uvalde shootings, leading US bishops urged action that “addresses all aspects of the crisis, including mental health, the state of families, the valuation of life, the influence of entertainment and gaming industries, bullying, and the availability of firearms.” They called for “the passage of reasonable gun control measures,” echoing the plea of Pope Francis that “it is time to say ‘no more’ to the indiscriminate trafficking of weapons.” 

While the Church’s position is clear, Nuns Against Gun Violence remains frustrated that so many Catholics either oppose gun control measures or are content to stay on the sidelines, offering prayers and thoughts after each tragedy. 

One goal of the group is to spotlight the issue in parishes and Catholic institutions. Homilies, publications, and calls for action on gun violence need to become a part of Catholic life, says the group. 

“When was the last time you heard a homily on gun violence?” says Angela Howard-McParland, a laywoman and a social justice advocate for the Sisters of Mercy and a founding member of Nuns Against Gun Violence. She says that relatively few churchgoing Catholics hear much in their parishes about what Nuns Against Gun Violence considers a primary pro-life issue. Too few Catholics, she says, connect their faith commitment to the cause of what she calls “common sense, evidence-based” controls on guns. 

Franciscan Sister Maria Orlandini works in Washington, DC, with the Franciscan Action Network, a Catholic social justice advocacy group. She is an original member of Nuns Against Gun Violence and part of the group’s steering committee. 

Sisters, she says, can provide a missing voice in the debate: “Our Catholic Church needs to talk more about it. We are trying to give it a bigger voice. A faith voice in our world is needed.” 

Advocating for Common Sense Gun Control 

Formed during the 2023 national Leadership Conference of Women Religious meeting in St. Louis, the group began with about 40 congregations of religious communities. That number has increased to 60. The goal is to unify and multiply advocacy among sisters of various congregations. 

While enthusiasm to curb gun violence is high among sisters, politically the issue regularly runs into dead ends, both in Congress and in statehouses. The United States is one of few nations in the world to have written the right to bear arms into its Constitution. Gun ownership is a part of the national DNA. And groups such as the National Rifle Association continue to flex their muscle in opposing curbs, organizing gun owners to vote against political leaders who support gun controls, and providing campaign funds for its supporters. 

While the issue generates controversy, there is widespread consensus on measures that could help, even if they sometimes run afoul of pro-gun rights groups. Nuns Against Gun Violence is advocating for legislation that would address issues such as: 

• Suicide, with shootings as the number one cause of death. Proponents of curbs on guns argue that guns are a reason so many suicide attempts are successful, with those who use them succeeding 90 percent of the time in killing themselves, far more than any other method. According to the Centers for Disease Control, six out of every 10 gun-related deaths are suicides. The sisters view gun violence as a public health issue. 

• Curtailing deaths of young people. Gun violence is now the number one cause of death among youths under 18, surpassing disease or car accidents. 

• Gun security. Ethan’s Law, now languishing in Congress, would mandate that gun owners safely secure their weapons in a bid to lower the rate of accidental shootings. Millions of American children are raised in homes with firearms. 

• Red flag laws, which prevent those with mental health or criminal records from owning guns. Groups such as Nuns Against Gun Violence want to increase their breadth, making sure that those with serious mental health issues are denied guns. 

• Placing more restrictions on exports of guns. While much attention is placed on guns that come north from Mexico into the United States, Nuns Against Gun Violence notes that the traffic is actually heavier in the other direction. Weaponry produced in the United States fuels much of the gang and drug wars in Latin America and the Caribbean, they say. The sisters support a lawsuit by the Mexican government against American gun manufacturers. Some congregations are part of an effort to invest in gun companies such as Smith & Wesson and present shareholder resolutions that question their policies. 

The investing sisters’ groups regularly push Smith & Wesson to stop marketing guns to children via video games and to change production methods to make guns harder to modify, which can make them even more deadly and rapid-fire. 

These efforts are relatively piecemeal. Still it remains difficult to enact many of these measures, in statehouses as well as Congress. More ambitious plans have generated even greater opposition. Perhaps the most important gun control issue is a proposed ban on automatic weapons, which was in place for 10 years beginning in 1994 until Congress let it lapse. 

Proponents of gun control blame the lapse of what was called the Brady Bill—named for James Brady, the late press secretary for Ronald Reagan, shot in the assassination attempt on the president—as a prime reason why mass shootings continue to afflict America. They say that weapons of war are used to kill scores of innocent people, including schoolchildren, concertgoers, and office workers. During the time of the assault weapons ban, mass shootings went down but have increased markedly since. 

Fasting and Prayer 

While advocacy remains a focus, the sisters say that spirituality plays a key role in their efforts. The group sponsors anti-gun Lenten programs focusing on fasting and prayer. Other times of the year the sisters promote campaigns to wear orange, a symbol of the anti-gun movement. Fasting against gun violence is a spiritual practice promoted by the sisters, who would like to see it become a part of American parish life. 

Nuns Against Gun Violence says that in fasting, those who participate are offering “a small sacrifice in solidarity with all those suffering from gun violence.” Last Lent, members began their fast on Ash Wednesday with a noon online prayer, Scripture reading, silence, and a reflection, a practice they will continue. 

Fasting is “a public prayer that purifies not only the one fasting but the entire community, preparing us to stand our ground against the powers and principalities,” the group noted in a 2024 press release. Whether via prayer, social action, or both, the sisters remain committed to overcoming the apathy and indifference about what they see as a clear and present danger in our midst. In its appeal for their Lenten fast against killings, Nuns Against Gun Violence asks those participating to do more than pray. “The loss of life and continuous toll of grief and trauma on individuals, families, and communities compel us to take action to change our society to protect life,” the group noted. 

By combining prayer with action, Nuns Against Gun Violence’s hope is that, one day, prayers will no longer be needed to mark the deaths of youths and that the listing of victims in any routine week in America will be empty. The sisters have a long way to go. 

We were thrilled to do so, anticipating being able to watch this feisty and energetic 2-year-old tumble and jump with her classmates. When we got there, however, we discovered that “class” actually meant open gym for kids her age with adult supervision and participation. Excuse me. What? And, of course, this was the day that Millie wanted nothing to do with her grandpa. Today, the task was going to fall to me. Suddenly, this out of shape grandma found herself jumping on a giant trampoline, rolling around and climbing on mats, and then jumping some more. We played for a solid 45 minutes. 

By the end of the gym time, my body was screaming and clearly reminding me that I needed to hit the gym more when I got home. My body felt broken, but my spirit was overwhelmingly filled with joy. 

A Three-Legged Stool 

The pain and joy that I simultaneously felt was not something new to me. I had experienced it after I completed my first half marathon and again following a workout with my 23-year-old son. The exhaustion of trying to keep up with him paled in comparison to the joy I felt knowing that my adult son was willing to spend time with his mom at the gym. Knowing that I was doing something to stay healthy was important, but the feelings of joy and fulfillment are what have stuck with me. 

Yet, often, it is that aspect that gets overlooked when it comes to our health. We home in on the physical and mental pieces and forget that feeding our spirit is just as much an important part of our health journey. Like a three-legged stool, if you take one leg away, it can’t stand. You need all three for balance. 

Finding Joy 

I’m not suggesting that everyone go out and start jumping on a trampoline like I did, but there are ways—simple ways—that you can feed your whole self and not forget your spirit. For instance, did you know that research has shown that 10 to 15 minutes of heavy laughter can burn between 10 and 40 calories? It’s not as effective as a walk, but it’s something that will feed your whole self. If you do go for a walk, instead of shutting off the world with headphones or getting caught up in everything that’s swimming around in your mind, find somewhere to walk where you are able to take in the sounds of nature. See if a friend wants to walk with you. In addition to catching up with someone you care about, you get the added benefit of physical exercise. 

There are a lot of ways that we can feed our bodies, minds, and spirit. We just have to remember to keep them in balance. We need all three to be fulfilled. 

Sidebar: Take Care of Yourself 

“Oh, sure, I’d love to exercise,” my patient says at her wellness visit. “But there’s just no time.” Between work, family, and her ever-present to-do list, she felt that taking care of herself was a luxury she couldn’t afford. 

She’s not alone. A news release from the World Health Organization on June 26, 2024, noted that nearly one-third of adults don’t get enough exercise. Many patients in my medical practice report mindsets and time limitations that prevent them from making consistently healthy choices. 

But is self-care a luxury? Not if you consider the number of chronic health conditions affected by lifestyle. Type 2 diabetes is a good example; for many people, it can be prevented by a healthy diet and regular exercise. Obesity is another example and can cause arthritis and breathing problems. A high-fat diet increases the risk of heart attack and stroke; smoking causes lung cancer and COPD; excess alcohol intake increases the risk of breast cancer and liver disease. 

Being sedentary increases the risk of depression, and chronic lack of sleep increases blood pressure and negatively affects mood. Even Jesus took time to take care of himself and encouraged the apostles to do the same. 

Honoring Ourselves 

When we are at our best, we are most able to carry out the work God has given us with energy and joy. Remember the air flight instructions? In an emergency, put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else. We can’t take good care of others if we don’t take good care of ourselves first. In Matthew 22:39, we are told to love others as we love ourselves, but how can we do that if we don’t treat ourselves with love? 

However, we shouldn’t make healthy choices just so we can take care of other people. God created us in his image, and that gift deserves to be cared for and respected. St. Paul reminds us that our bodies are not our own. Jesus paid for them with his life so that at the end of the world, those bodies will resurrect and join him in heaven. 

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body (1 Cor 6:19–20). 

Start Small 

So where does a busy modern adult even start? We’ve all heard the answer so many times that it seems too good to be true: with small commitments. Pick one, make it a habit, then pick another, and so on. 

Instead of cutting out certain foods, try adding more vegetables. Instead of jumping into a complicated exercise program, start by increasing movement throughout your day. Decide to drink more water, go to bed on time, or practice mindfulness. The choice is yours, but as you accomplish each goal, your enthusiasm for the next one will grow. 

So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31). —Colleen Arnold, MD