By: Michael

Michael — Tue, 27 May 2025 05:32:06 +0000

I lost someone I loved so dear to me that even after 4 years I still hope for them to walk through that door. But I know since I was the one that found their dead body that they will never come home. It was officially a heart attack. But going over his paperwork from doctors I realized that he knew he had a bad heart for years and did nothing about it. Lied to me about that he had it fixed in the surgery I waited in the lobby for them to preform. Lied to his close family that it was curried and nothing serious. But I know he did it on purpose. Not to hurt me. Not to hurt anyone. He was the kindness person you would ever meet on this earth. Although he said he didn’t believed in God, he still wore a St. Christopher medal I gave him. Years of therapy have helped but it only takes one thing to send me back to the man screaming and beating the kitchen floor know the man he loved, the love of my life is now gone. The person that protected and loved me more than anymore else has ever…was gone now forever. I blamed myself. There were times that I wanted to join him. Then I wondered why I had previously been through so many trials, taken some many risk, and gone through things that should have killed me, but yet I walked out of cars that I had accidentally crashed around poles without a scratch on me. I survived so many disasters and yet Im still here. I wonder if this is a sign from God or a torture from The Devil. It took a Jesuit Priest that married us to let me know “that if all this has happened and you are still here? Can only mean that God still needs you here. His plans for you are not over.” But I know he is in heaven with his mother he loved so dear. I pray for him every morning and evening. But like the article said I will go to my grave with a “black hole” in my heart.

Comments on: 7 Things Catholics Need to Know about Suicide

By: Michael